Living vicariously through myself

Creativity is all about vision.

Equal parts foresight and hindsight.

And sometimes just knowing you've got a good story to tell.

Sometimes it's a light, furtive brush stroke. Other times a can of paint splattered on an unassuming sidewalk.

Breaking boundaries others would never have realized were there in the first place.

Measuring time by the pound, creating a sequence of events so jumbled only time makes them make sense.

Solving a calculus problem with a bowl of cheerios.

An enemy can be a foil, and a foil can be a sword.

And talk like you know what's coming out of your pen.

Actual sign seen in (of all places) Oak Park, Illinois:

"Nuclear Weapons Free Zone"

*singing*
"Our country reeks of trees
Our yaks are really large..."

Which I was humming in the train yesterday....which reminds me of Canadia, which sounds like it's close to Denmarkia, which is where Brian will be after he visits Greencastle....which I will be doing in Mid-December

This is what happens when Stan gets a day off.

What I want for Christmas:

-- A punching bag

-- Enough money to survive through graduation

-- A tuition refund for a wasted first quarter

-- The decision to do a 5th year at DPU all over again

I keep watching television shows that make me want to believe someone is watching, and invariably they make me want to cry.

I watch Smallville and Lana tells Clark he can't save everyone or always be there. Seems I've had women tell me similar things before.

I'm watching 7th Heaven tonight, and Matt says "I decided what I wanted to do with my life when I was a teenager", expressing his uncertainty to become a med student. His girlfriend, who retrieved something of his from the lost and found, says the person who turned it in "didn't want to mess with someone's destiny...maybe you shouldn't mess with your destiny..."

I need to stop watching television.

Some days you feel like you can walk through walls. Others, you feel like I've felt all day and think that all you can do is walk into walls.

The more I practice journalism, the more sure I am that I'm not helping anyone. It's like it's some stupid game I'm playing and the other guys hold the chips. Why do I write stories? To help people? Fuck no. I write stories because I need to make money. But here's the problem: there's no certainty. I didn't get to have any success by taking risks. I got there by understanding the system and being good with people and with my mind. I figured out I'm better than I thought I was at video editing the other day and it gave me momentary solace that being a broadcaster was still for me. But my stories are paycheck getters, not humanitarian efforts. I don't do them because I'm a nice guy writing and editing out of the goodness of my heart -- I do them so people will pay me more than I'm worth and maybe someone will give me some out-of-this-world paperweight because they think I deserve some kind of an award. I know this life is going to burn me out and stop me from having a family. It will make me enemies and lose me friends. It puts me more out of touch with the world and the people around me, rather than the other way around. I've spent years learning to be a good writer. Most days, I can't stand writing.

Found this on Julie Stahlhut's blog.

Your sharp mind likes making connections between unlikely topics, and if there's humor to be found, all the better.